Fun Fact: Sharing something I probably shouldn’t…

Here’s something most people don’t know about me: I talk in my sleep. Big deal, you say. So do a lot of people. No, I mean, I TALK in my sleep. Full conversations. The clear as a bell, coherent kind of talking that (unless I said something totally weird) you’d never know I was asleep.

I also walk around.

And clean house, take out the dogs, feed the cats, scoop the litter, grocery shop, drive and run errands.

I do all this with eyes wide open, for all intents and purposes quite awake…except I’m also dreaming. I’ve been with my Doms, T and G, one week out of every month for over a year now, and this morning they finally got to see my crazy first hand. Here’s what happened.

I don’t know when I woke up, but I got up, put a nightgown on and took the dogs outside before heading upstairs to my ‘office’ to work. When I walked into the living room, however, there were eight or nine people I didn’t know there (including one really creepy lady with a cat; who the hell brings their cat when they go visiting other people’s homes?). Feeling very awkward for being in my nightgown, I quietly got some clothes on and then set about to cleaning up the living room so everyone could sit down. Being a good hostess, I scooped the cat box (so the creepy lady’s cat wouldn’t feel reluctant about using it) and then set about to making coffee.

Now, we had a party last night and were out until 2 am. I didn’t remember until I went into the kitchen that I’d taken the coffee maker to the playspace. Still, we needed coffee. So,  I got my shoes on, grabbed my keys and wallet and drove across town to retrieve the coffee pot. I also stopped at the store to pick up donuts, bread and bacon (I do have the receipt, so I know I paid for it) and then I came home. All those people had come in a bus that I distinctly remember driving around before I parked again. Sitting in my car, apparently eating donuts, I then called an author friend of mine, Dinah Mcleod, and had a 20-minute conversation with her that I do not at all recall.

Back into the house I go, where I could have sworn–SWORN–I cooked the bacon before setting it, the loaf of bread and the donuts on the coffee table, along with a stack of plates and some napkins. When the people started talking about church stuff, I got uncomfortable and went upstairs to my office to work. Sometime between then and 11 am, I woke up for real. Probably when my Doms’ teenaged son knocked on the door and asked if he could come in and wash his shoes. (No, that wasn’t part of the dream. That one really happened. My office is the desk in the upstairs bathroom. Don’t judge.) At some point, teen #1 asked if the donuts were for everyone, to which I cautiously replied, “I got them for the people downstairs.” Although I was hoping he’d say something to clue me in on whether anyone odd was in the house or not, he didn’t. He just went downstairs and helped himself to some donuts.

A few minutes later, T knocked on the door to ask me: A.) Where the donuts came from, B.) Why a box of raw, uncooked bacon was sitting on the coffee table, and C.) Was I feeling all right. Very, very reluctantly, I told him about the church people and gradually we pieced together my very adventurous morning. Once he and G were done laughing at me, we laid down some new ground rules. The next time I walk into the living room and it’s full of church people, I’m to wake them up. I also have to relinquish my keys and wallet before I go to bed from here on out.

6 thoughts on “Fun Fact: Sharing something I probably shouldn’t…

  1. OMG – This could be so dangerous! It reminds me of what happens to me if I take ambient. I had to stop taking it because I would do all sorts of crazy things and never remember it. Stay safe!

  2. Maren – I’m really glad your Doms take good care of you! Cause you really do dangerous things in your sleep. But dont berate yourself – you are sleeping and quite honest- You’re doing really normal things 🙂 cleaning, making coffee, breakfast (ok electricity or gas..). The dangerous things are You’re driving asleep, out with ppl without your senses working! But.. This is something without a cure – so your Doms are doing the right thing – talking and making rules. Perhaps You’ll follow those rules at home too. But this makes me worry for you! Please take care

  3. I don’t drive. But I wander. And I cook. It started when I was kid. My younger sister woke up when I was trying everything in our closets on for my audition for one of the Donny Osmond dancers. I was 13. She was 8. And it pissed me off that her clothes wouldn’t fit. Finally in disgust I went back to bed. The next time it happened I rehearsed the entire dance routine so I would be ready. 😄

  4. OMG Mrs Smith!!! Firstly i can imagine Mrs Mcleod believing it was a genuine conversation so no embarrassment there! Secondly i hope your Dom/mes realise that while asleep you wont be thinking straight so will not alert them! The wallet & keys thing is good & bad .. good in that you can not drive & get hurt or hurt anyone else! But if you do go out & decide to walk as you can not drive you could be in more danger! Also without your wallet you have no ID! So if something happens no one will know who to contact ect! {i understand your talking in your sleep! i think i still do but am not certain, i only know when i was 14 at camp in a tent with about 8 other girls i kept them awake all night due to a conversation i was having in my sleep! Basically i was laughed at the next day & told that morning several times thanks for keeping us all awake! – yeah church groups are so friendly! No wonder i developed social phobia} Anyway Mrs Smith please take care & i hope you & your Dom/mes work something safe out! OH! & no judging i think your desk placement should be were ever you get the most inspiration! HUGE HUGS
    slave c

  5. Wow!! That is funny and scary, all in the same breath.

    So glad you have super Doms to watch out for you.
    And I’m still totally laughing about you calling Dinah in the middle of the night.

    hugs <3

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: