Dominance is an Obligation…Really?
I saw this meme the other day and I really liked it.
The words, the picture, I like everything about this. Absolutely everything…except that second line. Let me say one quick thing and feel free to disagree all you want, Dominance should NEVER feel like an obligation. An obligation is something you have to do. It’s an expectation for services rendered, part of your job. Paying your bills is an obligation. Putting gas in the tank when you borrow someone’s car, that’s an obligation. Doing your household chores…obligation.
I don’t have words strong enough to say how fiercely I don’t ever want someone to see me as their chore. The thing he has to do because I clean or cook for him, or kneel at his feet, or run his errands, or put myself at his everyday service in a thousand little mundane ways and perhaps only a hundred intimate ones. If submission is a gift, how can dominance be anything less?
I don’t want someone to feel obligated to Dom me. I want him to do it because he can’t help himself. Because it’s a hunger, a passion, an ache deep down in his core that triggers every time I bend to his will or desire. I’ve spent 20 years as someone’s “chore” and, trust me, I’ll never do that again. While my husband and I are doing our best to walk away as friends, I do recognize I am not leaving without my share of scars. So, maybe this is one of them. Maybe I’ve got an irrational view of this and, if so, so be it. All I know is being someone’s obligation doesn’t feel anywhere near as lovely as either the picture or the sentiment.