T is for Tit-illation

A2Z-Logo-C1T is for Tit-illation

Balloons, fun bags, breasts, bazongas, chesticles, sweater puppies, or as we like to call them at my play group….BOOBIES!!!! There’s a million things you can call them…well, okay, there’s 154 on this list. Still, that’s a long list and there’s a reason for it. Everyone loves boobs. Women are rather attached to them. Most guys are too, and that’s because there are tons of fun things you can do with boobs, especially in a BDSM setting. Oh, let me count the ways…

You can spank them, pinch, pluck and pull, roll, drip wax on them, bind them up, tie them down, clip and clamp, you can do terrible, dreadful torturous things that will not be mentioned here because I love my own boobs waaaaay too much to subject them to that kind of treatment, and don’t forget, there’s also kissing, licking, nibbling, biting, sucking and…fucking.

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Have you ever given (or received, for that matter) a good titty fuck? Well, neither have I, but for the sake of this article I decided to learn how. After all, I’m 40-flippin’ years old. If I’m going to try it, I need to do it now while gravity is still, if not my friend, at least not my mortal enemy. The first thing I did was research the tutorials. I am an author, after all. I have long ago learned that there is no finer way to procrastinate having to work than by endlessly researching something half unto death. Titty fucking is, as it turns out, no exception. I found several good sites: How to Titty Fuck like a Pornstar, The Best Way to Give…, and How Do I Administer Mammal Love. Really, they pretty much all say the same thing.

The next thing I did was enlist my husband’s help. That’s pretty much where the research broke down and Murphy’s Law went into effect. The hubby was surprisingly easy to recruit. Our problem was more along the lines of coordination. We neither one have any. So after a brief Twister-game-like wrestle to find a comfortable position, a lot of “Ow! You’re on my hair”, and enough lube to guarantee happy endings for a small army, we finally decided we should have laid down a tarp. We also decided that tit-jobs are best left to the professionals in the porn video industry because all we did was make a righteous mess.

Sadly, the author of the excerpt I had picked out for today declined to allow me permission to post a snippet of her story here. So I have nothing.

If you want, however, you can watch this excellent instructional video here. Or, if you’re not one for instructional videos, I’ve got some Monty Python here instead. πŸ™‚

Enjoy the rest of your reading, and don’t forget to Click here to check out the other amazing authors participating in the A to Z Blog Hop going on all through June! πŸ™‚

10 thoughts on “T is for Tit-illation

  1. So, I love them. I’ll leave it at that:) Now, what I want to know is why so few authors seem to put those scenes in their books? Why, I ask? I’ve put them in two of my books now — and there will be more — but I’m like a dying man in a desert looking for more (literary) TFs. Come on authors! Expand your horizons:)

    Okay, this was probably the most useless comment. Ever.

    BTW, hope that back is on the mend:/

    • My back is doing better. Two days on muscle relaxants helped, although it might have helped more but once I got to feeling better, I immediately jumped up to unpack more boxes. Hubby couldn’t keep me on the couch for anything. I kept telling him to use rope, but he never did take the hint. πŸ˜‰

      I might have to put a TF scene in the next Masters of the Castle. I’ll do it just for you. πŸ˜€

  2. Hi Maren,

    Thank you so much for mentioning the Bad Girl’s Bible in the post πŸ™‚ We’re going to have an erotica competition this July (with cash prizes!), would you be interested in entering? If you are, then please shoot me an email and I will let you know the details.

    Best,

    Sean

    • LOL! I just saw A Million Ways to Die in the West. The hero is a sheep farmer who’s not very good at what he does. At one point, he’s lamenting the fact that he can’t keep his sheep corralled for anything and one of the funniest damn scenes in the movie is where he’s telling the story of how one sheep got lost in the whore house for several hours and ‘somehow’ made twenty bucks. Marmots is funny, but I first thought sheep.

  3. We have pretended to titty fuck. But you have to have actual BOOBS to do it. And mine don’t really qualify. I also no longer find them erotic after 4.5 years of breastfeeding, but my husband has decided that has to change, so I imagine he’ll bring me back to the light…

  4. LOL, I’m with Renee. I have no boobs with which to much of anything. πŸ˜‰
    Loved the post though. πŸ™‚
    And yay! you picked my favorite Monty Python scene.
    Naughty Zoot!
    Loved this!
    πŸ™‚

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