J is for Just Swallow Already, or Oral Sex – You know You Love It
Ah, the age-old question: to spit or to swallow? And before I get to the answer, let me just preface this article by saying that any man of mine who gave me grief over what I did with a mouthful of his genetic material after I just gave him a friggin’ blowjob would not be considered a long-term investment on my part. Kick that whiney bitch to the curb, ladies. Or gentlemen. I don’t judge.
But I digress. To spit or to swallow? Many people would maintain there is no right answer, but those people are wrong. There is absolutely a right answer. Before I get to it, let us examine the many-colored history of the blowjob, or fellatio, as those Roman party animals dubbed it in the days of yore. In fact, while oral sex itself has been around since the dawn of Man (and even before; most primates and all great apes have been observed to practice it in the wild, and not exclusively as part of grooming or dominance displays, nor as ‘human’ behaviors they are merely emulating. Oral sex is just fun. Deal with it), the Romans actively celebrated it, considering its practice as one of the defining criteria of a civilized vs a savage culture. Within Roman society itself, oral sex further illustrated class differences—the plebes, or peasantry, were too uneducated and too unimaginative (and doubtless too tired) to perform any more acrobatically in the bedroom than a beast in the pasture. Plain old boring doggy-style was good enough for them, but the high-class Roman citizen knew that, just as intellectual thoughts could not be fully expressed without the power of speech, human sexuality—as opposed to animal or plebeian carnality—was best expressed by mouth.
It’s tempting to tie this notion in along with all the other lies we’ve been brought up to believe about ancient Rome, except that we find it repeated in various other ancient cultures. Egyptian myths are chock full of references to oral sex among the gods; it appears as a path to enlightenment in early (and modern) Chinese philosophies; Indian sex manuals such as the Kama Sutra illustrated many different techniques; there’s many a subtle mention of it in the Bible’s Song of Solomon; the Incas and Mayans both included scenes clearly depicting fellatio among the reliefs decorating their holiest temples, perhaps suggesting acts of sacrifice to please their gods in a less stabby fashion than the usual hearts-ahoy kind of way.
Why so much fascination with this specific and, some might argue, incomplete sexual act? Well, partly because, as even a monkey knows, oral sex feels awesome. And apparently, even a monkey knows what many men and women have yet to figure out—that if you want to receive it, you ought to give it. But that is a whole ‘nother rant on a whole ‘nother article. I’m digressing again. I do that. Deal with it. Why the link between oral sex and civilized society? Admittedly, many societies were looking really hard for a way to justify subjugating, displacing and just plain exterminating other societies and since the best victims were those who couldn’t fight back very well, you see a lot of well-armed, well-established empires stomping on subsistence societies who were far less advanced technologically and defensively. Nobody wants to admit they’re the bad guy in a scenario like that, so instead, ancient historians made it clear that the other guy wasn’t really ‘people’ as we all know the word…just look at what they think is sex! How primitive can you get?
The reality is that when the object of your day is just to survive it, sex quickly becomes another chore and there’s not a lot of time to get kinky. Get in, get out, get back to work is the order of the day. But for the Romans, and other ancient empires sufficiently advanced as to have a concept of class, the elite had this thing called ‘leisure’ and they filled it in some bizarre ways.
Since writing itself was relatively new and its effects upon ‘higher’ civilizations was obvious to everyone, everything associated with it was upheld as a sign of superiority. Pretty soon, you had guys whose whole job was to think deep thoughts, sing songs, recite poems, act in plays, or write letters for other people. And it is during this time period, more or less, that Romans not only put forth the notion that oral sex was a sign of sophistication, but also further divided it down into submissive and dominant roles. Not a great leap, as I’m sure we can all agree. The very act of fellatio conjures a number of suggestively submissive images—getting on one’s knees, bending one’s neck, lifting one’s hands—but most of all, it requires one to forgo or at least postpone one’s own gratification while providing pleasure to another. In fact, the submissive posture of the person performing fellatio was so submissive that Romans also used it as a form of minor punishment or to humiliate a conquered enemy.
Hey, I could talk about ancient Roman sexual customs all day, but I’m wandering off-topic again. To spit or to swallow? A loaded question. (Ha haha! “Loaded!” I crack myself up.) Well, there are a number of reasons why people choose one over the other, the most prevalent of which is, not surprisingly, the taste. Of course, taste can be adjusted with diet or flavor enhancing products (yes, that’s a real and apparently popular thing), so if that’s all that’s stopping you, by all means, explore some options. Other people dislike the texture or viscosity, to which there are no quick fixes, and still others have a psychological aversion to the thought of all those little swimmers making their misguided way down the esophagus…or back up it.
Further complicating the issue is the fact that some men take it way too personally when his partner spits, as if his semen was the symbol of his entire role in the relationship and refusal to ingest it is akin to rejection of his intimacy and his dominance. Spitting or swallowing then becomes a power-play, which can be fun for those who like those kinds of edges in their relationship, but can also be dangerously dividing to others, particularly those who, like me, think you’d ought to be bloody well grateful you’ve got someone willing to nuzzle your junk in the first place, especially with your high-protein diet and total lack of manscaping, you whiney jackass.
So, spit or swallow? Is there really a right answer? There is and if you’ve read this far, it’s only fair to reward you with it, so here goes. Do whatever feels right. And if you take nothing else away from this article, remember this: The difference between good sex and great sex is not about what you make your partner do, but about how you make each other feel.
Nothing exemplifies this point of view better than Normandie Alleman’s ‘Daddy Game’.
“Here, I’m going to lie flat and you climb on top of me 69 style. Suck my cock, girl, and drop your pussy over my face.”
She hesitated, feeling incredibly self-conscious about having her pussy hovering over his face. It made her feel terribly exposed and vulnerable, and she had managed to avoid doing that with Natron. Until now.
It didn’t bother her when she was lying on her back and he went down on her. Perhaps this felt too dominant. Whatever it was she didn’t like it. But she wanted to please him, and it had been so long since they’d been together. Disobeying him now wasn’t an option.
Awkwardly, she positioned her body over his as he’d requested, her desire was replaced by anxiety. Going to her elbows, she used one hand to jerk his cock and she ran her tongue around the head. She’d kept her ass high in the air, but Natron wasn’t having that. He slapped her buttocks and dragged her pussy toward his eager mouth. Carmen moaned and forced his cock to the back of her throat. Her mouth slid up and down, as she rolled her tongue along his shaft, then pushed it back as far as she could take him. Natron’s hips pressed into her, but then he stilled and his tongue entered her pussy.
Modesty told her to resist, but her arousal disavowed any ideas of propriety she might have entertained. His lips sucked in her outer lips, then he moved on to her plumped clit. Licking all around it, he teased her before flicking his tongue across the swollen center of her sex. He fucked her with his fingers, all the while licking her from perineum to her throbbing hot button.
The more excited she became, the more zealously she sucked his cock. They’d established a rhythm of oral pleasuring, a dance of lustful abandon with their mouths that spun Carmen into a frenzy of spasms. Every one of the zillions of nerve endings in her clit felt like it exploded in ecstasy.
That line there is my absolute favorite: ‘They’d established a rhythm of oral pleasuring, a dance of lustful abandon with their mouths…’
To read more from Normandie Alleman, please visit her blog.
Sparks fly when up-and-coming artist Carmen Harris meets football star Natron Dakers at her first gallery opening. Carmen soon discovers that Natron is the type of man who sees what he wants and goes after it… and apparently what he wants is her. Almost before she knows it Carmen finds herself taking everything Natron gives her and begging for more, and when he reveals that he wants to be her dominant daddy and her to be his submissive little girl, she doesn’t hesitate to agree.
At the top of his profession, Natron has money, fame, and all the perks that go with them, and now at last in Carmen he has found a woman he wants to share it with. His life feels complete… until in a split second everything comes crashing down when a devastating injury threatens to end his season—and maybe his career. Natron fears he will lose it all, but will he self-destruct or can he dig deep and fight hard for himself, his teammates, and his little girl?
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